1 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,794 Yes, I love that. 2 00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,796 Another kill for Jeanie. 3 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,015 All right. 4 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,103 Mare, what do you got? 5 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,321 Yeah. Um... 6 00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,019 So I was thinking of doing a story 7 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,803 called "Downtown Downturn" 8 00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:24,414 about how fewer people are moving downtown. 9 00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,808 Interesting. I like it. So, what's your angle? 10 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,245 You know, I don't know yet. 11 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:32,074 Ah, man. I was gonna do an "I don't know yet" story 12 00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,120 about two words that sound good together. 13 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,644 "Uptown, Up Yours." 14 00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:40,822 - No. - I think this can live here. 15 00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,780 Look, I didn't plan on being here, 16 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,043 but now that I am, 17 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,958 I just really wanna kick a tiny bit of ass. 18 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,396 And I'm already on the Not Satisfactory board. 19 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,963 I haven't felt anxiety like this since I was a kid 20 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,314 and they had to give me prescription deodorant. 21 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,359 They called me Pit Stain Pritti. 22 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,578 It was good times. 23 00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:58,970 Ned [on phone]: How'd it go? 24 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,276 - It bombed. - What? 25 00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:02,191 "Downtown Downturn" bombed? 26 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,714 So hard. - You're kidding. 27 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,064 That story had everything. 28 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,109 It had demographics. Two "D" words. 29 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,371 I know. 30 00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,720 Did they assign you something else? 31 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,070 They don't assign stories. 32 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,158 You eat what you kill. 33 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,507 And I'm like the lion 34 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,465 the other lions are embarrassed to look at. 35 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,207 Well, I mean, if it's any consolation, 36 00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,991 it sucks here too. 37 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,602 I haven't been excited about anything 38 00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,473 since our Glass Club story died. 39 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:27,129 I just can't believe I'm gonna be fired and sent back home. 40 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:29,218 Like someone who failed to impress RuPaul. 41 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,916 You know what you should do? You should roar like a lion. 42 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,918 - Shut up. - Like the lion you are. 43 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:36,225 You should. I know you're in one of those soundproof booths. 44 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,445 Come on. You can't kill if you can't roar. 45 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,360 Rah! 46 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,318 No, you gotta go louder. Come on, go for it. 47 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,498 That's what I'm talking about. 48 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,065 Are we still on for dinner tonight? 49 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,806 - Yeah. For sure. - Okay. 50 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,938 Rah--! She's gone. 51 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:55,940 We've been having dinner over FaceTime. 52 00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,464 We call it "StuffYourFaceTime." 53 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,118 We try and order the same food 54 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,902 so we can pretend we're at the same restaurant. 55 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:03,252 But Ned likes Chinese food a lot more than I do, 56 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:05,036 so I've just been putting chicken nuggets 57 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:06,517 into a Chinese food carton. 58 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,431 It's working. 59 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,172 Best part of my day. 60 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,434 Our dinners. 61 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,567 If it weren't for StuffYourFaceTime, 62 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,135 I'd have no reason to live. 63 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:20,096 That came out a little darker than I intended. 64 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,620 But it is the only thing keeping me alive. 65 00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:57,176 All we have today is more tornado follow-up. 66 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,829 Mm-hmm. - Wish we'd get another tornado. 67 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,267 That was fun. 68 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,574 So, uh, yeah, so we got two deaths from the tornado. 69 00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,489 We have a woman who drove into a ravine, 70 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,230 and her car filled up with water. 71 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,884 That's my number one fear. 72 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,321 And we have a guy who got blown off a roof. 73 00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,366 My number two fear. 74 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,063 We got sent this press release 75 00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:17,936 about the man who fell from the roof. Desmond Sandoval. 76 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:19,416 Oh. 77 00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,939 Uh... 78 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,203 - It's the Glass Club? - That's where he worked. 79 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,161 At their rooftop restaurant downtown. 80 00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,771 Nope. No. Nope, nope. 81 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,817 Glass Club? No. 82 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:32,385 Not touching it. I learned my lesson. 83 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,343 I only have to get publicly humiliated 84 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,867 and have my girlfriend sent to another city once. 85 00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:39,479 Not-- No, not doing that. 86 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,132 Uh, you wanna take that one? 87 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,657 - Uh, what, just publish this? - Obviously do your job. 88 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,006 Go down and confirm what happened. 89 00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:47,791 But just leave me out of it, please. 90 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:50,490 Travis, you wanna go with her and get photos? 91 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:54,102 Oh, you know, I wish I could, boss, but I have cramps. 92 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,146 What? 93 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,670 I have male cramps, Ned. 94 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:59,063 And more of us men should be open about that. 95 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,630 It's not just a lady's game. 96 00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:03,416 No. [laughing] You guys did not miss anything 97 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,026 the rest of tornado day. 98 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:07,942 Absolutely nothing happened. 99 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,596 Esmeralda. 100 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:10,989 Jane Doe in the ravine. 101 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,513 That's a good match. 102 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,254 This is what I should write about? 103 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,038 A woman that dies in her little car 104 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,475 because she forgot how doors work? 105 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,695 How humiliating. 106 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:25,307 When they try to get you down, you are never down far enough. 107 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,353 They want you lower and lower. 108 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,963 And now Ned Sampson, 109 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:32,183 he's trying to put me under the sea level, you know? 110 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,011 Hey. - Hey. 111 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:37,232 Some photograph of the Glass Club accident. 112 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,061 All right. I'll take one look. 113 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,891 This is just a picture of a guy power washing the sidewalk. 114 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,675 Yeah. That's what he was doing. 115 00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:47,329 They already finished investigating? 116 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,678 Where's the police report? 117 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,680 Don't know, they said there wasn't one. 118 00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:52,900 Journalists need good instincts. 119 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,903 But one of the most important instincts 120 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:59,776 is knowing when to not listen to your instincts. 121 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:03,258 Do I care that when someone dies there's usually a police report? 122 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:08,219 Especially when that person dies in an unusual way? 123 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:11,745 Right now, I've got a voice in my ear going, "Hey, Ned, 124 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:15,096 there is something odd going on over at the Glass Club 125 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,880 with that guy who fell off the roof 126 00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:19,274 and the way that they cleaned it up." 127 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:21,755 But there's another even littler voice going, 128 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,235 "Hey, don't listen to that guy. 129 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,628 You've screwed up before 130 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,326 and if you keep going like this, 131 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,849 you're gonna screw up again," 132 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,156 but that little voice is kind of chicken shit. 133 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,465 Your son really reminds me of somebody. 134 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,815 It's, um... It's... 135 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,340 Ah! It's a potato. 136 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,342 When are you due? 137 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,649 Hey, who's that? 138 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,085 Oh, that's one of the new moms 139 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,957 - you've been temping for. - Oh. 140 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,176 Yeah, she's about two and a half months 141 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,309 into her three-month maternity leave, 142 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:57,138 but it looks like she's thinking about coming back early. 143 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,575 - It's good to see you, Amanda. - Good to see you. 144 00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:02,143 Would you grow up already so your mom can come back to work, 145 00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,449 we really need her. 146 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,277 Oh, my gosh, he is so precious. 147 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,453 Not at 3:00 a.m. 148 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,151 Oh, this age is so the sweet spot. 149 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,587 It's when they really get to know you. 150 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,069 Whatever face they look at from three to six months 151 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,766 is the one that they'll listen to 152 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,377 when they're 14. 153 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,987 Do you need your mommy? 154 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,902 Do you need your mommy? 155 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,294 - Do you... - You're so lucky 156 00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,557 your partner's a full-time parent. 157 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,689 No. My husband's a firefighter. 158 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,388 Well, day care is fun too. 159 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,607 Just make sure you wash those widdle hands. 160 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:34,131 Your immune system's gonna get really stwong. 161 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,568 Yours too. 162 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,744 Obviously, I'm not proud of what I just did. 163 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:40,790 But I can't leave this job without an epic story. 164 00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:43,619 And that story will be my baby. 165 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,056 How was storm chasing? 166 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:49,712 Um... I'm actually working on a screenplay about it. 167 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,322 For a motion picture. 168 00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:52,715 - Nice. - And I'm-- Yeah. 169 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:56,719 I'm gonna be calling it, um, Merry Twistmas. 170 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,547 So it's like a tornado Christmas movie. 171 00:06:58,548 --> 00:06:59,679 Yeah. 172 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,854 - Awesome, bro. - Yeah. Exactly. 173 00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,204 And, uh, there's two coworkers in it 174 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,380 that share this incredibly awkward moment, 175 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,164 and one of them is just not sure 176 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:09,429 how the other one feels about it. 177 00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,169 Uh-huh. Okay. 178 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,345 I would just focus on the tornado and Christmas. 179 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:15,651 - Yeah? - That's, like, 180 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,348 the most commercial part of all of this. 181 00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:20,526 Yeah. No, listen, I just need to get the details right. 182 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:24,312 So, uh, you were in a relationship at work. Right? 183 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:27,402 Yeah, I've never been in a relationship at work. 184 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,186 Not like a real one. 185 00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,450 Oh, really? 186 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,800 We were dating. He's just gaslighting you. 187 00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,889 He's gaslighting you, he's gaslighting me, 188 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,804 and Merry Twistmas is gonna bomb. 189 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,894 I wanna report an official office relationship. 190 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,418 Okay, juicy. Oh, my God. Who with? 191 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,768 I was in a relationship with Detrick Moore. 192 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:47,857 Okay, nice girl. 193 00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,293 He is cute. 194 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,470 Oh, but you know, you only have to report it 195 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,297 if it's like, a boss-employee thing. 196 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,299 Like if The Beast was with Belle or some-- 197 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,911 No, if the Beast was with Mrs. Potts? 198 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,608 Imagine that. Kinky, weird. 199 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,002 I'm a person, not a teapot, okay? 200 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:06,267 Mark it as real, mark it as happened, mark it as over. 201 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,617 Okay, chill. 202 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:11,315 Nicole, wait. Guess what I'm thinking about now? 203 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,622 The Beast railing Mrs. Potts. 204 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,145 Thanks for that visual, right? 205 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:18,627 "Oh, Beast. Tip me over and pour me out, innit." 206 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:19,760 Nicole. 207 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,461 - Hey. - Hey. 208 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:31,510 I have an itch that I really shouldn't scratch. 209 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,511 I'm gonna be recording 210 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,860 - this conversation. - No. 211 00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:35,383 - November 15th. - No. 212 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,776 Male voice, Ned Sampson. 213 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,691 No, you don't have to do that. Listen to me. 214 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,650 It's about that, uh, funny old waiter, 215 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,739 the one that fell off that funny old roof. 216 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,524 I was just thinking that he must have been 217 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:50,137 pretty old and small, right, 218 00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:53,140 for the wind to just pick him up like that. 219 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,924 - Not really. - No? 220 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,405 I mean, this is his family's in-memoriam page. 221 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,538 Let me see. 222 00:09:00,322 --> 00:09:02,019 Ooh! Big fella! 223 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,673 He also used to salsa dance. 224 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:08,416 Ah. That takes core strength. Yes, it does. 225 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,071 I think it's odd they wouldn't mention any of those details 226 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,855 in the press release, right? 227 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:15,510 Ned? Your curiosity isn't sparked 228 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:18,731 by some deep-seated resentment of a certain club? 229 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,210 - Not at all. Not at all. - Uh-huh. Okay. 230 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,385 - Not at all. - All right. 231 00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:22,778 Not at all. Adelola, 232 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,520 would you please join me in the conference room? 233 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,219 Is this about the Glass Club? 234 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:34,007 Oscar, would you join me in the conference room, please. 235 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,399 Is it about the Glass Club? No. 236 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,967 It's about a different topic 237 00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:39,839 that I can't discuss with you out here 238 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,624 because it involves the F-word. 239 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,060 Please? 240 00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,845 Travis, conference room. 241 00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,194 Is it about the Glass Club? No. 242 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,761 Detrick, conference room. 243 00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,329 - Is this about the Glass Club? - No. Come-- Just-- 244 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,156 Guys, 245 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,332 I may have misled you a tiny little bit. 246 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,901 This is about the Glass Club. 247 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,083 Ned is up to something. 248 00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:09,912 He's probably planning my next demotion, 249 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,174 I can smell it, you know? 250 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,742 You can't lie to this nose. 251 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:17,224 That man loves to demote single moms. 252 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:18,834 Welcome to the first meeting 253 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:21,532 of the Toledo Truth Teller Secret Team. 254 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:23,056 - Are you in? - Is this going to be 255 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,623 our regular meeting time? 256 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,754 I don't think there will be 257 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,669 a standard time, Oscar, right? 258 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:31,238 I should off the bat say that Wednesdays are a no-go for me. 259 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,240 My mom and I never miss Survivor night. 260 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,371 Wait, no spoilers, please. 261 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:35,808 Okay. - I'm two behind. 262 00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:37,244 No, all right, we won't-- I'm just-- 263 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:38,637 - We won't do Wednesdays. - All right. 264 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,942 Now, we'll look at this photograph 265 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,727 of the Glass Club rooftop building. 266 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,338 Okay? Umbrellas and toupees everywhere. 267 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:46,122 Yet the only thing to get blown off 268 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,603 is a large nimble man. 269 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,953 That is odd, right? Yes? 270 00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,868 I can't do Tuesday and Friday nights. 271 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,087 Well, this is just great, 272 00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,871 I cannot do Thursdays or Mondays. 273 00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,004 I'll send out a Calendly later. I can't-- 274 00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,614 Could we focus, please? 275 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,051 He's not letting me on his team. 276 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:03,923 I will make my own team. 277 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,055 So, what do you guys think? 278 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:11,757 Are you willing to pledge your life to Esmeralda's Secret Team? 279 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,932 Can I tell my wife? 280 00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,760 I've never kept anything from Summer. 281 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,632 That's not sexy at all. You must have some mystery. 282 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,982 Roxanne doesn't even know what Barry's short for. 283 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,767 She doesn't even know where I work. 284 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,116 She thinks I'm a cop. 285 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,596 You will be on a very important mission. 286 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,685 Oh? 287 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,688 The mission of my secret team 288 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,865 is to find out the mission of Ned's Secret Team. 289 00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,475 Ned's got a secret team? 290 00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,477 Well, he must've got up pretty early in the morning 291 00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:37,739 to get that by me. 292 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,698 I'm the eyes and ears of this place. 293 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,352 We should have a chant. 294 00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,832 So the sergeant confirmed 295 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,139 it's completely improper to power wash a crime scene. 296 00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:48,097 Said it never happens and he'll check who allowed it. 297 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,490 I sent him a LinkedIn, he-- 298 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,144 Okay... Ah, ah, ah! Shh, shh, shh. 299 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,711 Shit. 300 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:57,411 All I wanna do is gather with a few men in secret. 301 00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,369 What is so threatening about that? 302 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,197 What am I doing here? Hey. 303 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,721 You guys might be asking yourself? 304 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,506 Well, ha, I'm not gonna tell you. 305 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:08,378 But I will say I don't feel good about it. 306 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,816 Oh, I actually know where we can meet. 307 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:13,253 Hang on, this'll just take a second. 308 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,256 We, uh, started a secret team text chain 309 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,912 that I call "The Sons of Hermes." 310 00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,871 Travis changed the name. 311 00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,228 Whose place is this, man? 312 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,143 It is Mare's. 313 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,623 She gave me the door code 314 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,843 so I could water her plants while she's away. 315 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:41,630 Um... But unfortunately, I have been busy. 316 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,153 Whoa... Wait. 317 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:47,113 Do you have access to all of our apartments? Answer me. 318 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:49,419 Damn. Check out Mare off the clock. 319 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,379 Body, ody-ody-ody-ah! That's... 320 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:58,341 Guys, we have to figure out what happened on that rooftop. 321 00:12:58,342 --> 00:13:01,083 We know that on the day of the tornado, 322 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:04,870 the Glass Club was serving lunch. 323 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,349 Yes. Now, where's the waiter, 324 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,481 where's Desmond? 325 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,265 Oh, uh, Desmond is the deodorant. 326 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,832 - Okay? - Oh. 327 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,356 Because what happened to him is a secret. 328 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:16,490 But is Desmond really deodorant-sized? 329 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,970 In real life? 330 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:21,147 I mean, like, he's stocky, he-- Like shaving cream. 331 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,670 - I see. - He needs more heft. 332 00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,933 - Okay, sure... - Then maybe mayo? Maybe mayo. 333 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,717 Okay. We'll say mayo. Yeah. Okay. 334 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:29,720 Let's say that Desmond is the mayo. Now... 335 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:32,071 That's all well and good, but here comes the weather. 336 00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,899 Ooh. 337 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:38,164 The ChapStick just falls over, yet the mayonnaise is anchored. 338 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,513 It's not going anywhere. 339 00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,777 Why would the mayo, and only the mayo... 340 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,127 fall off the roof? 341 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:47,696 We must snoop. 342 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:50,393 Guys. 343 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,178 Everybody snoop. 344 00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:55,921 Jesus, so many emails from Birkenstock. 345 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:58,619 Birkenstock? You got any coupon codes? 346 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,491 Hold up! He's got socks in here. 347 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:04,451 And there's a name written on them. Look up Ned Hanes. 348 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:07,584 There is no way that Adam is that stupid. 349 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:08,934 Ned has got to him. 350 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,980 Look at me, Barry. We are not talking. 351 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:15,897 I think that Adam is a double agent. 352 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:19,945 Oh, you have the palsy. 353 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,252 Roxanne has that as well. 354 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,560 They got to Barry too. 355 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:29,868 It's hard to blow Desmond the mayo off. 356 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:34,002 But what if Mrs. Butterworth's 357 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,310 and Core Power Protein decide to do, do, do. 358 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:38,877 They pick up mayo... Ned and Travis: Yeah. 359 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,618 ...and throw him off the roof. 360 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,620 It could be murder? 361 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,060 Who the hell are you guys? 362 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,278 Hello. 363 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,366 - Um... - Okay. 364 00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,890 How do you know Mare? 365 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,805 Well, I didn't know that you AirBnb'd your place. 366 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,285 I mean, I'm very sorry. 367 00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,679 I'll pay you back the dates that they canceled. 368 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,899 Listen. I can't do StuffYourFaceTime tonight. 369 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,902 I need to find a story. I feel like such a loser. 370 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,512 No, no. They're the losers. 371 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,992 Why don't you just come home? 372 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,428 No, I'm not leaving here 373 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:09,951 until I get a story in this paper. 374 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,388 - And then you could leave? - Yeah. 375 00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,694 All right. Well, you know what, 376 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,914 that sounds worth missing dinner for. 377 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,960 - So go get them, buddy. - Thanks, dude. 378 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,745 All right, secret team? I think this is too important, 379 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,269 and we need to make this work. 380 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,793 So I am suggesting that all of you cancel your plans, 381 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,403 and we'll order in dinner. 382 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,319 I am supposed to help my stepdad move back in tonight. 383 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,148 I think that your mom should do that. 384 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:36,370 Because it sounds like they need to talk. And dinner is on me. 385 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,287 I wasn't sure about going after the Glass Club again, 386 00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,202 but the more I think about it, 387 00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,683 they may have actually murdered that mayonnaise. 388 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:49,904 - This is kind of nice. - Yeah. 389 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,166 Pizza with the guys? 390 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,864 Hey, seeing as how we're a secret team, 391 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,997 maybe we should share some secrets. 392 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,913 Mm... - For bonding purposes. 393 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:01,785 - Perhaps a blood oath. - No. 394 00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,092 - Yeah, I don't like blood. - No? 395 00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,789 Yeah. No, I was thinking more just like 396 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,400 we could each go around 397 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:11,665 and reveal something secret about ourselves, you know? 398 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,058 For solidarity. 399 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,885 Yeah, I don't like blood. 400 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,932 I was thinking something more... 401 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:21,544 I tried some of my birth dad's ashes. 402 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:22,937 I put them in a juice, 403 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:25,374 and I tried to absorb some of his power. 404 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,551 - And it didn't work. - Okay. 405 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,206 More like that. 406 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,384 Uh-oh, Detrick. 407 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,430 A visit from HR is never good. 408 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,171 Nicole came by my office earlier, 409 00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,607 and she just kind of let me know 410 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:44,263 that you two had a relationship history. 411 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,395 Yeah, I wouldn't call that a relationship. 412 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:47,831 Okay. I knew it. 413 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,050 Why's that? H.R. Lisa: I don't know, 414 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,574 I just see you with someone more fun. 415 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,489 Well, I'm not that fun. So... 416 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,101 Well, you need a fun and a not-fun for balance. 417 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,580 That's what all the books say, so... 418 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:58,929 Ah. 419 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,410 I'm fun. I see. 420 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,196 Did I just inform HR Lisa that Detrick's single? 421 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,458 H.R. Lisa: You're such a gentleman. 422 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,155 The mayor says the new riverfront 423 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,592 will create 3,000 jobs. 424 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,377 Eh... N.S. 425 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,684 That's a press release, not a story. 426 00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,730 All right. What else you got? 427 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,821 I gotta get off the Not Satisfactory board. 428 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,171 The what? 429 00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:26,306 What you just said. The N.S. board. 430 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,177 Oh! No, no, no. 431 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:32,746 Those are the initials of that rookie in Toledo. 432 00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,097 You know, the one Dan thinks is a jerk. 433 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,577 You probably know him. 434 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,839 Ned Sampson? 435 00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:41,276 No. No, no. 436 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,800 I-- I don't hate anybody, 437 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:48,109 I just put up the NS board after Ned beat us 438 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,329 at the Ohio Journalism awards 439 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:54,681 and Marv sent me a pic with a snotty little caption 440 00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,857 about how their budget is half ours, 441 00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,077 and, I mean, you know what? 442 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,776 that ex-TP salesman. 443 00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,562 - Hey, for Mare? - Yeah. 444 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,129 Thanks so much. 445 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,479 Actually, hey, um... 446 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:11,741 You haven't heard of any 447 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,962 interesting local stories, have you? 448 00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,094 Mmm... 449 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,835 Well, my brother got free tickets to the World Series. 450 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,446 Okay. 451 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,797 He's the first high school pitcher with a robotic hand. 452 00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,626 What we're missing is a motive. 453 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,932 Right? All these country club dentists and car dealers, 454 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,978 they don't murder someone for no reason. 455 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,111 So, what do we know about this guy? 456 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,460 He was a career waiter, 457 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,244 worked at the Glass Club for like 100 years. 458 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,811 Never married, no kids. 459 00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:40,074 Maybe he was depressed. - I like that. 460 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,468 No, well, maybe work is enough for some people. 461 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:45,384 Or maybe he wasn't single by choice. 462 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,690 He longed to meet his perfect person, 463 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:50,128 but he met a slab of concrete first. 464 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,999 Maybe he thought he found the right person, 465 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,610 but he was wrong, and she had all kinds of issues. 466 00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,612 Or maybe he met the right person, 467 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,179 but the circumstances were weird, 468 00:18:58,180 --> 00:18:59,746 and they couldn't acknowledge it. 469 00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,748 He's lucky he had a job that he liked. 470 00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,097 Work is what gives meaning 471 00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,707 - to a man's life. - I don't know, I mean, 472 00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:07,275 I'm not sure a job is more important than a person. 473 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,582 Like, I don't think a job can make me happier 474 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:10,627 than a person could. 475 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:14,978 What? 476 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,763 You're the biggest workaholic here. 477 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,113 You threw a 125th anniversary party, 478 00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,985 for the job you're in love with. 479 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,640 All right. 480 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,468 What are we doing? 481 00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:27,904 - Working. - Maybe the guy 482 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,298 just fell off a roof? 483 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,823 I gotta go. Okay. 484 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,914 Mare would've figured this out by now. 485 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,003 We need her back. 486 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,092 Hey, uh, check your inbox. 487 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,617 I sent you some ideas. There's a good one 488 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:47,446 about shrinkflation in chocolate brands. 489 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,188 They don't use cacao anymore. 490 00:19:57,239 --> 00:20:00,154 So good news. Dan liked the idea. 491 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,634 Yes! 492 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:03,288 Congrats! I knew it, 493 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,593 I knew a superstar like you 494 00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,552 would not be on the NS board for long. 495 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:07,596 That's amazing. 496 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,119 Yeah, I was a little nervous. 497 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,208 It was a tough room. 498 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,948 Okay, that one's hard to beat. 499 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,603 Anyone else? Anyone? 500 00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,257 Anybody else? 501 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,651 Mare, how about you? 502 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:22,698 Um, yeah, the robotics team at Roger Bacon High 503 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,919 made a bionic hand for a disabled pitcher. 504 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,139 Now, he's starting and has a fastball that can touch 93. 505 00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:31,707 Okay. 506 00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,883 - Wow. - Let's go, Mare. 507 00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,233 Yeah. Wow. 508 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,625 Oh, my God. Gimme, gimme. 509 00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:40,238 Cool. Bionic baseball, let's go. 510 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,414 All right. That's a good one, Mare. 511 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:43,980 - Nice. - Thanks. 512 00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:45,112 Nice one. Home run. 513 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,244 Okay. 514 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,549 So was it satisfying? 515 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:49,072 Extremely. 516 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,161 Well, I'm glad I could help. 517 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:53,338 Yeah, Ned's ideas were honestly good, 518 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:56,733 but it's not every day a bionic hand falls in your lap. 519 00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,474 Okay, so gr-- 520 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,955 Hey. Oh, good, [sighs] you're here. 521 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,436 All right. So I spoke with a guy named Parsins, 522 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,046 he runs the rooftop restaurant. 523 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,439 He's a little condescending, 524 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,179 but he told me where all the VIP's sit. 525 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:11,007 These VIP's are the richest in the club. 526 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,618 That means they spend the most money, 527 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:15,273 and they always sit in Desmond Sandoval's section. 528 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,885 Therefore, all the other waiters are jealous of his tips, 529 00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:21,888 and that there, people, is a motive. 530 00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,977 Ned, you're not going to believe this. 531 00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:26,371 - I've got a motive. - Detrick just told us. 532 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,633 What? 533 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:29,374 You found out about the unionizing? 534 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,680 Damn, I was so proud of myself. 535 00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,293 What-- What unionizing? 536 00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:36,816 This photograph 537 00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:38,949 is from the waiter's Facebook page. 538 00:21:40,386 --> 00:21:41,951 Take a look at that tattoo. 539 00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:43,301 It's a union tattoo. 540 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,954 He was trying to unionize the wait staff 541 00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:46,869 and the restaurant doesn't want that. 542 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,567 That's another motive. 543 00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:50,395 That means this could actually be murder. 544 00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:52,266 - Yes. - With the Glass Club behind it. 545 00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,747 That means... That means I'm right. 546 00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:56,357 Yeah. - Right? I have good instincts. 547 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:57,924 - Yeah. - It's murder, baby. 548 00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,708 - It's murder. - It's murder, baby! 549 00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:02,668 Murder. Murder. Murder. 550 00:22:02,669 --> 00:22:04,322 Murder. 551 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,193 ♪ Murder, murder, murder! ♪ 552 00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:13,200 I don't trust Barry anymore. 553 00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:15,158 I think he's working for Ned. 554 00:22:15,159 --> 00:22:20,120 Great management is all about rooting out treachery. 555 00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:23,471 Test him out, and see if he will betray me. 556 00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:24,951 - Okay? - Okay. 557 00:22:24,952 --> 00:22:28,911 Joseph Stalin was able to get one underling 558 00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:33,655 to trick another underling into disloyalty. 559 00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:36,397 To save time, I'm going to do two at once. 560 00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,790 You know the plan? 561 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:41,271 Test him out and see if he will betray me. 562 00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:43,318 - Can we talk confidentially? - Mm. 563 00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:45,450 You know, 564 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:47,452 I actually wanted to talk confidentially with you. 565 00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:50,020 That's so funny. 566 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:55,373 I really don't think I can trust Esmeralda. 567 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,678 Talk more about that. 568 00:22:56,679 --> 00:22:57,984 Can you trust Esmeralda? 569 00:22:57,985 --> 00:22:59,115 Not one little bit. 570 00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:00,813 What should we do about it? 571 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,381 Would you like to betray her? 572 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,208 As much as you probably would. 573 00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:06,601 She said you would say that. 574 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:08,038 She told me the same thing. 575 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,126 She stinks, man. 576 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:12,607 They both disappointed me greatly, 577 00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:15,393 and they exceeded my expectations. 578 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,656 I don't know if I can trust them, 579 00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:19,441 or they're going to kill me.